The Woman Said To Me "I Have This Big Chest"

The woman said "I have this big chest I want you to handle for me", when I answered the phone at work. In my line of work, I get all kinds of funny and unusual sayings or questions. I do furniture stripping, refinishing and paint removal on just about anything, so I get all kinds of crazy things said to me. I wanted to say to the woman on the phone some kind of off color come back, but I bit my tongue and listened to her describe her chest of drawers she wanted me to strip for her.

One day I get this call to come out to give an estimate on a tall poster bed. I was met at the door by the woman of the house. She said, I want you to refinish my bed, but there is something else I need you to do for me. Please what ever you do, get those damn handcuffs locked on the posters off and get rid of them. I lost the key and can't get them off. I get tired of having company come to the house and having to hide the cuffs under something I hang on the posters. The good news is, I made a key for the cuffs and I have them to this day.

Since the name of my business has the word Stripper in it, I get all kinds of calls from guys wanting a stripper for a party. Sometimes people call and I play along with them because they are putting me on. I had a call from this guy that wanted a stripper and I told him, sorry the girls are all booked up. There was a pause, then he said how about some guys then. Again, I had to tell him they were all busy. Before he hung up, he blurted out that this city must be sex crazy, I can't find anybody. Young women are always calling for a Stripper. When I explain to them that I do furniture they have a good laugh and go on their merry chase for the kind of Stripper they are looking for.

Another time going to a customer's home to pick up furniture the wife and husband got into an argument about having the furniture refinished. The wife wanted it done and the husband didn't so he was making all kinds of excuses not to have it done. She said to him, I love this furniture and the cost of doing it is much less then buying new crap. He started to come back with a answer when she yelled out, I'm getting it done and if you keep yelling like that, I won't buy you that new car you want. You can go out and get a job and buy your own car. We hauled out the furniture and when we returned with it, the husband had his car, and even complimented us about how nice the furniture looked. You just never know!

Lots of other things happened, but that will be another post.